Restorative Mercy

This week I turn thirty-seven. THIRTY…SEVEN…… I choose to spell thirty-seven out because somehow my age looks less intimidating in letter form. Perhaps, I should check out what my age looks like in Roman Numerals. Scratch that…it looks way worse!

I am not a fan of birthdays. Let me clarify. I am not a fan of MY birthday. I am a huge fan of yours! I am the first friend to bring you a cake and presents. I love to celebrate…I’d just rather not acknowledge my age. If I had to take a wild guess I am sure it has something to do with being divorced, single, and not a mother. I’ve never been the type of women who felt that motherhood is womanhood. But still, the idea of being thirty-seven without kids seems deficient somehow. I wonder who is going to visit me in the nursing home in 40 years, or better yet, who’s going to put me in the nursing home in 40 years. I work in healthcare, and most of the time my elderly patients children bring them to their appointments when they can no longer drive. And I wonder, what happens then, for me. I don’t know. The rational side of me says it’s not that big of a deal. Usually it’s not, but in August it’s a big deal.

In August, I can hear the ticking of the clock getting louder and louder. I can hear it moving so much faster than it did in my twenties. It really wasn’t this aggressive when I turned 21 or even 29. In August, age is not just a number. Age is menopause and thinning hair. It’s looking around for the closest adult and realizing its you! In August, it’s not just about me, but about everyone else who ages with me. When I accept my age, I am forced to accept the age of my parents and my loved ones. It’s about everything evolving and changing all at once. In August, time becomes valuable and I am often reminded of time wasted. It gets so easy to go down memory lane and veer off onto regret ally. But let me tell you a secret…My God redeems time!

I heard a podcast a while ago talk about time. They said that the most valuable thing to the enemy is time and the enemy will try to steal your time in any way he can. Think about it, addiction steals time, bitterness steals time, disease steals time..do you get it? When I heard that, I instantly thought back and identified the things that had wasted years of my life. I was driving east on HWY 50 in tears. And then the podcasters said “but Jesus redeems time”. That changed my world. To redeem means to buy back. Jesus can buy back the time we’ve wasted or the time that was stolen. The Creator of night and day, heaven and earth, is not, nor will ever be limited to our 24 hour-365 day time construct. He wasn’t limited by Abraham and Sarah’s ages, Paul was not deemed useless because of the years he spent as Saul. Redemption is not just about our salvation and where we spend eternity. It’s about right now. God is not a man, He is not on a leash attached to age and numbers, He is not restricted by data and statistics. Please listen my friend, there’s a difference between fact and truth. The fact is I am turning 37 years old in two days, the truth is God is redemptive by nature and not held hostage to time. Be encouraged that God does have a plan for you and His promises are still alive and active!